Day One-God Convicts My Heart (Part 1)

Today, I discovered that a dear woman from my summer Bible study passed away–I knew she was sick, and I wanted to visit her, but I felt convicted to cross one more thing off my to-do list before I could visit her at her house. Tears rolled down my cheeks and the lyrics from the song “Blink” flooded my heart when I heard the news:

No one remembers how far we have run
The only thing that matters is how we have loved
   
I did not have enough time to visit her and for that I am sorry. But you know what I am learning? Sorry does not cut it. SORRY DOES NOT CUT IT!! I may have had every excuse and obligation imaginable, but my heart aches because I did not let God live and love through me.

In our last conversation, my friend was telling me that she looked fat in her pants, but I told her that she looked beautiful, which she did. We smiled at one another and wished each other well. She looked good and I took it for granted that I would see her the following week. I remember feeling confused when I did not see my friend the following two weeks; I was told that she was tired and needed to rest. Three weeks later we were all informed that our dear friend would be seeing Jesus soon and that she would love to see us before her grand adventure. Did I make I make time for her? No. I was wrapped up in the devilish game of seeing how many things I could check off on my to-do list. She did not even make my list because it was full. I figured I would put her on the list when there was an opening because I selfishly thought she would recover. To me, this was considered balancing my schedule in an effective way. Looking back at this time, I am more than grateful that God is now in control of my schedule because He never misses an opportunity to love.

I hope this song speaks to your heart:

Blink
by Revive
 
Teach me to number my days
And count every moment before it slips away
Taking all the colors before they fade to gray
I don’t want to miss even just a second more of this
It happens in a blink
It happens in a flash
It happens in the time it takes to look back
I try to hold on tight, but there’s no stopping time
What is it I’ve done with my life
It happens in a blink
When it’s all said and done
No one remembers how far we have run
The only thing that matters is how we have loved
I don’t want to miss even just a second more of this
It happens in a blink
it happens in a flash
it happens in the time it takes to look back
I try to hold on tight but there’s no stopping time
What is it I’ve done with my life
It happens in a blink
Slow down, slow down
Before today becomes our yesterday
Slow down, slow down
Before you turn around and it’s too late
It happens in a blink
it happens in a flash
it happens in the time it takes to look back
I try to hold on tight but there’s no stopping time
What is it I’ve done with my life
It happens in a blink. 

One thought on “Day One-God Convicts My Heart (Part 1)

  1. Something similiar happened to me and that’s partly why I haven’t been around. I have come to learn that if things were meant to be, God would allow them. Maybe we both would not have been able to handle those last moments of our friends lives and God spared us.

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