The Flight

I woke up in a fearful mood after dreaming about my grandma, Baba, who is no longer with me. The dream felt so real as I relived my sadness of losing her and frustration for not being able to do more for her. I was not in a good mood and we were late for church. But first, we needed to stop off at my parents’ house to feed Vulture, their Dusky Conure. Vulture has been in our family for over 20 years and she and I had a love-hate relationship. It never failed that when I was on the phone or working on a project, she would squawk at the top of her lungs demanding my immediate attention. However, Vulture also had a loving side to her. She was known for making kissing sounds and snuggling and she has no problem falling asleep next to you.

As I was walking into my parents’ house, I could hear Vulture greeting me, but I did not give her a very friendly greeting back because I was in a hurry. I followed the routine of changing her food and cleaning her bedding. She is very sneaky and managed to get on top of her cage. I got her down (easier said than done) and placed her on her rope perch where I thought she would be safe in her cage. As I was leaning over to change her paper, Vulture flew right over my head. I was terrified of what would happen next.

I ran after her trying to catch her, but I was too late. She flew into the large glass window and broke her neck. I looked down on the floor and I couldn’t see her because she was holding on to the side of a chair. I picked her up and began yelling to Garrett in fear and sadness. I said, “Oh no, oh no…Please help me! Please help me!” Our previous bird had died the same way and I knew what would come next. We placed Vulture on the table and talked to her. She was gasping for breath so we thought there still may be a chance. Then she took her last breath and rolled her head to the side. We lost her!

Looking back, there are so many things I would have done differently: been in a better mood, placed some type of netting over her cage,…oh the list of should haves, could haves, and would haves goes on and on. If only, I would have done it differently…

Through this experience God taught me the value and fragility of life and that we should value all of our relationships. I wish I could have made Vulture’s last day special. I also learned that there are not any repeats or redos in life. You only get one chance to live each day and make a difference in someone’s life.

Questions: 

1. What occurrence(s) in your life do you wish you could have prevented?

2. What did God teach you through your pain?

3. How are you going to live today differently?

5 thoughts on “The Flight

  1. Dear Brianna,
    I am so sorry it has taken me this long to respond to your post. I miss Dominic too, especially around Christmas time. We used to meet up in Mammoth and have Christmas dinner together. I miss building our snow forts and trying to peg Daniel and Dominic with snowballs.

    I want to affirm you for your strength and love for God. You are right about Dominic and God wanting you to live your life to the fullest. I remember how full of life Dominic was and how I wished I could be like him. Now, I realize God gives us the opportunity to truly live our lives each day.

    Thank you for sharing such a powerful testament with us. It is awesome to see what God is doing through you! Keep up the blessed work!

  2. 1. I wish that I could have prevented my brother’s accident. I felt so guilty because I didn’t even get to say a proper goodbye. I was angry at God for about 6 yrs because I didn’t understand why he would let such a thing happen. I didn’t become faithful in Him again until about 6 yrs ago. I am very glad I did because God has taught me so much.

    2. God taught me compassion for people in need. I began to work with individuals with special needs and also typical developing children. It brings a smile to my face to help children because they have so much joy in their hearts. I also learned how to be strong. God has strengthened me so that when I face obstacles I am able to overcome them due to His healing powers. God also brought my brother’s close friends to our family and now they are friends with all of us. They treat me like a sister. I am so blessed in so many ways.

    3. I will listen to God when he gives me guidance on what path I should follow in life. I also realize not to take life for granted. I know that Dominic and God want me to live life to the fullest. I will also continue to let my family and friends know how much I love them because this is what God wants.

  3. Haley,

    I am very sorry for your loss. I am glad that God is helping you reach out and take a big risk. That is so wonderful that you are going back to church.

    I’ll be praying for you in your walk with God,

    Brianna 🙂

  4. Haley,
    Forgive me for not commenting sooner. This post was painful to write and is difficult to look at. Too fresh- I still have nightmares.
    I am glad that you are going to church and working so hard on developing a stronger relationship with God. It is not easy to take that first step and I admire your strength. Hang in there:)

  5. 1. I wish I had not spent so much time in quiet pain, just trying to keep going,, pain from life experiences and not managing well, at times. I knew it was not how it should be, but it took effort to continue, to adjust, and then I think in ways I became complacent and forgot all I had once wanted, which were not things exactly, though when struggles hit, things help, too.

    2. God taught me I could reach out. If I could not reach out exactly like others, then my way, not at first or sometimes not at all, then I would reach out and risk as I was, and if misunderstood, then so be it.

    3. This is the best part. This week, I will again meet with someone who may have misunderstood a comment I made or something, who may think I am not fully Christian, as I once stated that I did not regularly or sometimes not at all attend church, for other reasons, too, and that I continue to learn what it means to be Christian in a modern world that I am so private and sometimes learn alone. And, I am going to accept an invitation finally to attend church with her and probably her family next weekend, and she might think it no big deal, but it is for me, as I intend to continue to go on my own, and to head again in the direction I think I always intended, and imperfectly but without excuses. And all of the praying, for myself and others, and all of the encouragement, has helped me to reach this place, again. And when I heard myself saying and writing how much I missed someone who attended this church and died, someone whom I was very close and was last there for his funeral, though not the only excuse I had, I realized though hurt, how confused I had become, and that it was over time to return.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s