I Am Not Ready

Close up of baby's foot in mother's hand


I am not ready to celebrate Joshua’s first birthday and welcome in his next chapter of being a toddler.  I am not ready to stop our special nightly encounters in which I can soothe Joshua back to sleep.  I am not ready to put him down and let him explore.  I want to hold him for just a bit longer…continued on www.curveballs.org



A very close friend of mine has a son, Ethan who has Cystic Fibrosis and maybe developed a lung infection.  Currently, he is battling a fever, nonstop coughing, and  vomiting.  Please join us in prayer so that Ethan does not have to go to the hospital, especially since he was there 3 months ago.  Thank you sooooo much for your prayers. They do make a difference!



I want to take time to talk about a subject that no one likes to address, grieving.  We have all been there, whether it be it over a loved one, a failed marriage, losing a job, etc. (the list can go on and on).

This Christmas was different for me.  While we had a wonderfully blessed 1st Christmas with our son, I could not help but feel a tug of sadness and longing in my heart for those who have lost loved ones. A week after hearing about the horrific shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School, I was woken up by a phone call that no one wants to receive. My very close friend’s mother told me that my friend passed away that night. I can still hear myself screaming “No!” She explained that my good friend Jess had died of a massive heart attack and the tender age of 28.  I was left sobbing on my husband.

It feels like I was just listening to Jess explain how she wanted to help keep the policemen warm this winter by fattening them up with seven tubs worth of cookie dough!  She was always thinking of others.  I tried to remember the good times with her, but it was so difficult to when I had to write a eulogy for her.

My husband did and continues to do an amazing job of consoling me and praying with me. But it was difficult to comprehend how other people dealt with my sadness. I heard comments like, “People die. It is a part of life,” “Don’t get depressed or you will ruin your milk supply,” and “You need to snap out of it. It will be okay.”

Grieving is a process that takes time. I still miss my grandma, Baba, and it has been over eight years since she passed way. I agree with the expression “time heals” because in time, God helps to restore our hearts and gives us the strength to press forward.

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.” James 1:2-3